Parents for Good Sports - Solutions to Today's Sports Parenting Challenges: 

Sports Parenting: Solutions to Today's Youth Sports Challenges (an e-magazine) promotes sports enhancement, enrichment and reform through parent education and involvement. It provides a forum for assessing current sports practices and for discovering approaches to school and youth sports that fit the requirements of the times. It explores possibilities for creating sports programs that benefit athletes, coaches, teams, schools, families and communities.  

 Sample Article from Sports Parenting:

So You Want to be a Better Spectator? 

“The ability to cooperate is far more important to human welfare than the ability to compete. Success is a journey, not a destination. Winning and losing are temporary, but friendships last forever….” - John Kessel, USA Volleyball

Far more than the winning and losing are the lessons learned through sports.

Socrates said, “ I believe that we cannot live better than in seeking to become still better than we are.”   Team sports are unique in their core cooperative nature and their capacity to build character. The ability to cooperate is far more important to human welfare than the ability to compete. Success is a journey, not a destination. Winning and losing are temporary, but friendships last forever, is a Chinese proverb of great truth.  Below are five tips for becoming a better spectator.

Tips: 

1.  Keep POSITIVE support, encouragement, cheerleading and general hollering and yelling to a MAXIMUM on the sidelines.When players are working hard, they need and deserve everyone’s encouragement and support. They need to know you are there. Most teams have a tough enough time developing a sense of teamwork and achievement as they are also developing their skills. They DO NOT need to hear YOUR anxiety piled on top of their own when the game is going poorly.
2. Just one word on criticizing players, coaches or referees.  DON’T. Publicly criticizing players on your team can really hurt morale.  Athletes will already have an excellent idea, from all the practicing they have already done, as to their errors. They do NOT need reminders from their families, friends and other spectators. The players for the other team are also doing their best and in truth are probably no more aggressive than the players on your team. Criticism is simply poor sportsmanship and leads to unnecessary bad feelings on and off the playing area. The unfortunate spectacle of an adult shouting insults at a child or other adults is disgusting. Sport is a game, not a war. When the opponents make a great play, give them positive encouragement too. The officials are making judgment calls on each and every play, and will err at times, though less often than the best player on your team.
3. Leave the coaching to the coach. Coaches are already there on the bench to guide the players and in the stress of the game there needs to be just one source of feedback, that from the coach. If you think an athlete is not doing what should be done, tell the coaches in private, not the player.   Your child may be doing exactly what the coaches have instructed.  Parents can help a player’s development much better working with the coaches, not independently.
4. Set an example through your actions and words. Degrading actions and words are the bane of sports character development. Leave the gym better than you found it in, physically and verbally by being a great role model.
5. Remember, it’s just a GAME. It is supposed to be FUN. Please remember, YOUR attitude in the bleachers can affect the mood and success of the team. Emotions run high in competition, and feelings are easily hurt. Be tolerant. - Baron Pierre de Coubertinplace to talk about the game with the coaches is not in the gym, and not around the players.

Take a moment to read the Olympic Creed and the Oath of Athletes:
 

The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.  In the name of all competitors, I promise that we will take part in these Olympic Games, respecting and abiding by all the rules which govern them in the true spirit of sportsmanship, for the glory of sport and the honor of our teams.

Remember, on every Olympic medal awarded, in Latin, is Citius, Altius, Fortius. – Swifter, Higher, Stronger.

It does NOT translate into “swiftest, highest, strongest.”  The idea is to help each player, regardless of age or skill, develop their own selves to be more….as in swifter, higher, and stronger…getting better every day, for this process of learning and self improvement in each child is a journey, not a destination.

Guidelines for Being a Positive Player-Parent adapted from Volleyball USA, Winter 2000:

1. Cheer your player on, be supportive of her, console her, but do it without judging her, the coach, officials or teammates.
2. Many things will aggravate you that do not even faze your player. Do not make something into an issue if it is not an issue.
3. Encourage your child to seek her own answers. Coaches respect players who come to them and privately question their playing time or role; it immediately indicates they want more.
4. Understand the rules of the game and the club/coach philosophy. Substituting in volleyball has consequences.
5. Do your physical part as a parent. Get your child to practice on time and pick them up promptly. Demonstrating responsibility and commitment can be incredibly effective.
6. Positions and talent sometimes do not match up. Coaches attempt to do what's best for the team, putting the best physical mix and best "chemistry" on the floor. That may mean that sometimes your daughter may be playing "out of position" in an attempt to strengthen the team. A positive spin by you can go a long way in helping your child adjust to a new role. Stay positive, and maybe your child will flourish.
7. If you have real concerns, and your player has attempted unsuccessfully to work things out with the coach on her own, schedule a meeting with the coach and have your child attend with you (you may not be hearing the whole story - a common occurrence). If you are trying to resolve a problem, help your player by being a role model in the problem solving procedure.
8. Never approach a coach with complaints after a tough game. Wait and schedule a visit after everyone cools off. Most coaches are highly competitive, and just like players, do not like being confronted after tough games.
9. Please think before criticizing anyone connected with your player's club or team. Criticism is contagious and often hurtful. The damage could be irreversible.
10. Model composure & poise. When on the sidelines, your child may pick up on your behavior.  You become a role model in how you react to a close game or a bad call.
11. Refrain from game-time coaching. During games, it time to just let them play. This is the time that athletes have to trust all the training they have done and just play. “Just do it” as the saying goes. Too much coaching can lead to mistakes and cautious play.
12. Detach self-esteem from achievement. Too many athletes attach their self-worth to their level of performance. Help your athlete understand that they are a person FIRST who happens to play sport instead an athlete who happens to be a person. Success in sport should not be the determinate of self-esteem.